This is the stage of PPD that not a lot of people talk about…at all. My meds have been working for the past 4 months…(wooohooo). I have been feeling more and more like my old self. There are a number of days where I forget totally about PPD. If it weren’t for my husband I’d even forget about taking my meds. But I know better. I know never to get off them cold turkey, I know my life right now is highly dependant on them.
What scares me is what will happen when the time comes to get off them? What If I fall back into the dark hole? What if I can never handle life on my own? See this here, is me…I was genetically made to worry about things I have no control over changing…from small things like the weather, to death….Fear of the unknown has always been my thing, my glitch, my weakness. Instead of enjoying the moment, I’m sitting here with one eye open, waiting for that monster to pounce when I least expect it.
Does this make sense to anyone?…I really need to let go and trust more….