I am having the bathroom floor moment yet again. Yes, this is not the first time in my life and probably not the last. To understand the ‘bathroom floor’ you must have read the book, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert; or seen the movie at some point. There is a scene where she is on the bathroom floor crying hysterically, lying there for a while because she didn’t want to be married anymore and she badly needed a change in her life. The monumental scene symbolising a huge change in one’s life.
My first bathroom floor moment was years ago when I was in an emotionally abusive marriage. He was my first love and even though signs of abuse were always there, I perceived them as love. It started with small things; that skirt is short, who is that looking at you? In a year it had escalated to recording of phone calls. I knew then that I had to leave. That is when I had my 1st Panic attack.
I’m sure all of you have had this moment… or maybe, some of you have had this moment once (or many times), or maybe some of you have been so fortunate and you have never had this happen to you. It might be through the loss of a loved one, giving your child up for adoption or even a divorce. Sometimes, it’s even just that misalignment in your life.
The need to adapt
Some changes are drastic, others are gradual- like a child leaving for school, but whether drastic or gradual, there is a need to learn how to adapt to life’s changes.
It’s an open secret that I suffer from Anxiety. Change impacts me 100 times more than most people with no mental health issues. With anxiety, challenges become magnified; a mole becomes a mountain. Regardless of this, I still choose life. I tell myself ‘no matter what, put one foot in front of the other and keep moving, one day at a time.’ Things will always happen to and around me, how do I cope? Do I allow myself to drown in these changes or do I take a stand to rise? I have no choice but to be brave. Bravery sometimes, leads to my psychiatrists office.
Get ready, change will always happen
No matter how sure you are of things, no matter what your signs read, be ready for a change. Things never remain the same. To live a fruitful life, I tell myself I must be like water, ready to flow but never losing myself. To move past stale relationships, loss, careful friendships and whatever I no longer want to deal with.